Heartseeds

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The last few weeks were tough, weren't they?

You can say it out loud, I hear you!

Almost 1 year ago I gifted myself a retreat with Jen Pastiloff

What I experienced there changed me, deeply.

The soulful women I met there, forever in my heart.

The lessons learnt, sacred.

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Today, let me share with you a beautiful gift Jen made us

She calls it the “Give yourself a f***ing medal” exercise

It is a moment where you pause, reflect & HONOR

your SELF.

What you’ve done.

What you felt. ALL the feels

What you went trough. How far you’ve come!

Brave warrior

Amazing human.

Truth is...

you are not here to please all of us &

no one will acknowledge all the hard (& simple) things you did.

No reward from the outside

No first winner price to wait for.

It’s an inside job

you & only YOU can truly do.

And no one else.

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So for today, just pause.

Reflect.

And give yourself this f***ing medal!

For all the leaps of faith you’ve taken

For all the moments you thought you couldn’t take it anymore

yet you DID

you were hanging in there

giving your best

as a woman, partner, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, teacher

you name it!

Take a DEEP breath.

Then a piece of paper.

A pen.

And write it ALL down.

No need for it to be perfect #fuckperfection

just let your SELF speak.

Watch the beauty unfolding

As Jen says “I’ve got you”.

And just know...it is all going to be ok.

It really is.

So I'm going first...

As I am thinking about the last 8 weeks of COVID isolation...

I Vanessa Sanchez de la Hoz Willems, give myself a fucking medal for

being a mom even if I am not able to show up each day with the same energy
being a wife, even if I am not showing up each day as present partner
holding space for my family even if I feel tired & messed up
embracing my messy being
for showing up for my heartseeds project even
having had the courage 2 years ago to quit my “safe” job aka big fat salary although Covid opended deep old wounds about fear!
thinking each and every day of my mother and my sister although I miss them a lot and it makes my heart ache
trying each day to make our home a soulful and sacred space even if sometimes I am not feeling at home in my own body
keeping up meditating even if it’s only for ten minutes a day
writing day in, day out giving all my emotions the room they need to unfold
not giving up on me, my core values, my vision
investing in my dreams
reading my daughter each night her goodnight stories although I just want to flee in my own safe space and read adult books
being a caring friend even if I don’t manage to call or text them each and every day
honoring my home each day
having being able to survive the last 8 weeks and honestly not knowing HOW the f*** I did it!
listening to my body & honoring my cycle and its phases! AMEN.
allowing me to rest when i really really really DO need it!
drawing over 20 covid chica paintings in less than 2 weeks
embracing my creativity
having the courage to be me
having the courage to speak up
sharing the love even if I feel anger
breaking tabus as much as I can
being such a badass connector. I AM!
trusting my intuition, ALWAYS!
being a mother, wife and women with a vision although I tend to forget myself
apologizing to my daughter when I screamed at her and HATE myself for it
trying to judge me less each day
choosing my husband each morning with the intention to love him no matter what
doing laundry even if I’d rather prefer to write 100 books
being patient with myself although I did not write ONE book (yet)
getting up each day with good intentions

to be continued each and every day - hopefully!

Thank you Jen Pastiloff for being one of my greatest mentors.

You lead by example.

From the heart. Straight from your guts.

And to YOU beautiful & brave reader

If you haven’t read her masterpiece of memoir, go and grab it, now 💜

Now... please SHARE with me

What are you giving yourself a f***ing medal for today?For the past last weeks?

Just give yourself the f***ing medal! (No one will do it for you!)